Can you middle?

Why a good middler is a good leader.

Every dinner party needs a person who can “middle” — someone who can keep the conversation going and engage people on both sides of the table.

Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm recently featured a dinner party where the conversation was sagging and the party was dragging. Larry knew what the problem was, the person in the middle must be able to say, “I see you. I acknowledge you. I connect with you.” Every dinner party needs a person who can “middle” — someone who can keep the conversation going and engage people on both sides of the table.

Can your organization middle? Do you bring together different types of people to support your cause? Can you engage a wide range of people without causing a ruckus? Many nonprofits are the bridge between funders, researchers, and beneficiaries. Often, they are the only place where the industry leaders meet the people and practitioners. How do you engage these audiences?

Provide a safe space.

Don’t talk about politics. When working with International Rescue Committee on a fundraising dinner, I was surprised that they did not want to be political. How do you talk about safe havens and immigration policy without being political? Yet it was very important to them that they uphold the values of being people who care and not focus on the political divides that scorch real debate and prevent progress. The theme of the dinner was “we’re all in this together.” based on the idea that it wasn’t about labels, it was about being human. IRC provides a space to talk about difficult issues and offers opportunities to take real action.

Find common themes and causes.

Celebrate the work and the progress that your organization supports. Often foundations will fund researchers who lay the groundwork for breakthroughs. Introduce the people behind the science and tell the success stories of the lives that are touched by this work. It may sound obvious, but it’s amazing how abstract many nonprofits become when they don’t properly tell the stories of their beneficiaries.

A good middler is a sign of leadership.

It requires strength to handle the responsibility of being in a middle position and commanding the two sides of the table. Just as a good host makes everyone welcome, a good middler connects conversations, protects the underling from the overlord, draws in the uninitiated and…