Good stakeholder, bad stakeholder

“Stakeholder” is not a dirty word.

Mentions of stakeholders are normally pretty negative; they’re the people that might block your work, they’re the people that you have to not piss off. It’s tempting to think that stakeholders exist simply to be navigated around, so that you can do great work.

This is partly because bad stakeholders are the ones that stick in your mind. They’re the ones that are made into characters in Office Space, and the ones you moan to your friends about.

And of course, no one thinks of themselves as a bad stakeholder.

A good stakeholder will propel you forward, provide specialised knowledge, and clear the path for your work. Sadly, it’s easier to notice these things when they are missing, then when they are provided.

My point is; stakeholders are an incredibly important part of your success, your team’s success, and your company’s success. These relationships should be cherished and encouraged, rather than being seen as a necessary evil.

I’m trying to be a better stakeholder to my business partners. The following is what I think that means.

Note: I know some people think ‘stakeholder’ is a word that is lost to negative connotations, and cannot be saved. Substitute the below with ‘business partner’, or simply ‘colleague’, depending on your preference.

Good stakeholders communicate like pilots. They are concise, and ensure that there is minimal room for misinterpretation if they are misheard, or taken out of context. Bad stakeholders share irrelevant information hidden with the relevant.

Good stakeholders confidently answer the question asked, and only that question. Bad stakeholders answer questions that are different to the ones asked, sometimes to display their peripheral knowledge.

Good stakeholders use their audience’s language, and are clear when introducing their own. Bad stakeholders use their own vocabulary, and expect the audience to understand.

Good stakeholders care about their message being understood. Bad stakeholders point to the fact that the message has been shared, as proof their job is done.

Good stakeholders have genuine empathy for their colleagues. Great stakeholders create empathetic colleagues by sharing their working practices, values, and vocabulary. Bad stakeholders do not authentically care about their colleagues.

Good stakeholders turn colleagues into champions of their work by telling compelling stories, and selling a vision that improves their colleagues lives. Bad stakeholders explain their solutions, and expect others to both understand and love these solutions.

Good stakeholders are up-front about risks, assumptions, and trade-offs. Bad stakeholders pretend that these don’t exist, and that their solution is the only way forward.

Good stakeholders have informal talks to quickly diffuse growing tension, and have more formal discussions when that doesn’t work. Bad stakeholders avoid conflict, and blame others when tension grows.

Good stakeholders escalate issues as early as absolutely needed, in a manner that genuinely seeks a resolution. Bad stakeholders escalate to apportion blame.

Good stakeholders ensure that interests are always aligned, with zero ambiguity. Whether that is aligned on execution (“we both agree that this tool will achieve our goals”) or strategy (“we both agree that this is our goal”), good stakeholders make this clear at all times. Good stakeholders know how to disagree and fully commit to making the path forward work. Bad stakeholders aim to sell their preferred solution, and don’t want to think about alignment.

Good stakeholders care about being right over a period of months, and weeks. This means learning, and adapting their views as new information is found. Bad stakeholders care about being right in the present, and will argue until others agree.

Good stakeholders create psychological safety by stepping out of a conversation to reaffirm alignment and intent. Good stakeholders are clear about what they have in common with their colleagues, and are clear about where they differ.

Good stakeholders defer to their colleagues’ expertise, but maintain a healthy scepticism. They know when there is value on pushing on an issue, and when there is none. Bad stakeholders question everything (thus slowing everyone down), or question nothing (and the project misses out on their own expertise). Good stakeholders use the right forum for the right questions. Bad stakeholders want their questions answered immediately, regardless of the forum.

Good stakeholders are genuinely interested in their colleagues, and listen attentively. Bad stakeholders wait for their own turn to talk, and are distracted in conversations.

Good stakeholders add their message to the conversation. Bad stakeholders send their message out, and expect others to take it as gospel.

Good stakeholders cut conversation short when needed, because the message has already landed and been understood. Bad stakeholders don’t have authentic, honest conversations. They have a resolution set in mind, and talk around different ways to reach that resolution, ignoring their colleagues counterpoints. They don’t drive shared knowledge forward, and instead focus on getting agreement for their solution.

Good stakeholders are genuine partners with a common goal. Good stakeholders are teammates on a larger team. Bad stakeholders want everything to flow through them, and want an asynchronous power relationship.

Good stakeholders know that they are stakeholders to others. Bad stakeholders think others exist only to help (or block) them.

Good stakeholders know that they need to improve, to help their colleagues. Bad stakeholders see bad only in others, and blame their stakeholders for failures.

Good stakeholders give feedback to help others improve as colleagues. Bad stakeholders label others as ‘a bad colleagues’, and believe that they can’t improve.

Good stakeholders work the behind the scenes, helping you to improve before important meetings. Bad stakeholders wait until those meetings to explain where you’ve gone wrong.

Good stakeholders elevate the work that you’re doing. Good stakeholders are a completely unsung part of any great work that you produce. Good stakeholders make any job much more fun and interesting.

I wrote this because one of my favourite stakeholders (it’s not an oxymoron) recently left Deliveroo, and I wanted to write down what made her great to work with. If you’d like to join us, and help me be a better stakeholder, business partner and colleague — hit me up on LinkedIn or Twitter.

Before you go…

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