Moderating a discussion: How to set the ground rules and be the referee
Imagine you have just led a discussion that went off the rails. Your worst fears came to pass. It seems like everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
A few loudmouths wouldn’t stop talking. It wasn’t really clear what people were saying in the first place. A true back-and-forth discussion never seemed to get going. Maybe they were just a tough crowd? How could you have possibly done things differently?
Constraints turn chaos into freedom.
Many problems that arise during a discussion can be traced back to failing to choose, communicate, and enforce a simple set of ground rules.
Before the Discussion
Agree on the goals and agenda ahead of time.
Establish what participants will walk away with, well before they arrive. Discussions occur in different situations for different purposes, but successful ones begin with a clear mission. Write it on the wall at the start and consider keeping it visible so participants can keep it in mind throughout. Prepare yourself for success by organizing the event ahead of time with the help of articles about different types of workshops, how to lead a workshop, and even how to assemble an essential bag of supplies.
At the Start of the Discussion
Don’t be sheepish about being the shepherd.
Your “contract” with participants becomes binding when they walk into the room. Once you get started, enforcing the rules is really your only job. Participants will expect you to lead them. You should not feel you are being overbearing for exerting appropriate control. Since the time of Hobbes, a “social contract” involves a mutual transferring of rights: people agree to cede some control to gain more peace and prosperity. While you may have stakeholders who dictate your goals, it’s ultimately up to you to determine how to achieve them by exercising your skills as an organizer and moderator.
Create a Simple Script
I first state what they can expect of me:
- We’re here today to talk about XYZ….
- I’ll jump in at times to ask you to clarify or elaborate.
- If you have spoken a couple times, I may ask you to hold back. We want to give everyone an opportunity to participate.
Then, I state what I expect of them:
- For the best discussion, I ask three things of you. Respond to others’ ideas (regardless of whether you agree or disagree)
- Contribute new ideas, and
- Share examples from your experiences.
Why did I choose these rules specifically?
The seeds of your instructions will still need tending to branch and bloom.
I chose these 15 seconds of homilies based on the situations I most wanted to avoid. Here’s why I set these rules — and how I handle them as the referee when they inevitably break them anyway!
- Be clear: It’s better for the moderator to ask for clarification rather than put the other participants in the awkward position of saying they don’t understand. Help everyone save face by taking the blame yourself: “I’m not quite following. Can you help me understand?”
- Be specific: We may have a general idea of what someone is saying, but without some further details, the idea may not resonate. As the driver of conversation, you will either press on the gas or step on the brakes based on your sense of how scenic the view is. If you sense there is more to see or learn: “Can you elaborate a bit?”
- Give examples: An idea is often just a truism if it doesn’t include context. Examples ground ideas in reality: “Have you had an experience like that?”
- Share the floor. It’s embarrassing for people to be shut down, especially when they are contributing good ideas. If you put them on notice beforehand, then they might keep themselves in check; if they don’t, they will understand why you have intervened. “Thank you. I’m going to ask you to hold back now so everyone has the chance to contribute.”
- Respond to others: Unless you are in brainstorm mode, you want participants to interact, listen to others and build upon their ideas (whether they agree or disagree), not just wait their turn to make a separate point. “Thank you. Let’s go back to what we heard a moment ago. What did you think about idea X?”
- Contribute something new: While it’s nice to know that people agree, we don’t need to hear them just parrot what they just heard unless the added context and connotation offers a new perspective. This situation arises in panel discussions a lot. “Thank you. Other ideas?”
Don’t beat around the bush.
- Learn your intro by heart so it comes naturally. However, stick to the script. If you speak off the cuff, you can muddle your message or even mislead the participants. For example, you might want them to “give examples,” not “tell stories.” Otherwise, you will simply end up with long-winded responses.
- Choose every word carefully. If it’s not clear, concise, and relevant, participants won’t remember it. Read from your notes if you are nervous or just don’t remember it well enough. That said, if you can’t memorize your intro, it’s probably too long.
Use different strokes for different folks.
Your rules will vary based on your moderating style and the nature of your audience.
- Sometimes you may want to wait for the “teachable moment” before presenting a rule, so its relevance becomes clear.
- Do you ask for examples up front or wait until juicy ideas come up that merit more context? If you omit the request for examples at the start, you may end up asking for them repeatedly.
- Sometimes you may have to point out the very basics to help you keep the peace: when discussing a controversial subject with a polarized crowd, you may need to ask people to respect those who have ideas very different from their own.
During the Discussion
Intervene a few times near the beginning, just to make sure the rules sink in.
The first five to 10 minutes of discussion are the most important for setting the norms. Just like any new game, participants need to learn how to play by the rules. And that means they need to see that you are serious about being a referee. Being human, they will make mistakes. As my colleague Kevin Burke pointed out to me, your interventions can help them learn and grow as people.
My colleague Michael Morgan points out that you may also benefit from the Zeigarnik effect — an activity involving an interruption may be more readily recalled. Finally, keep in mind that you may have to be flexible: in certain situations you may need to change the rules if they aren’t constructive.
Why Are We Discussing This?
Aren’t these rules obvious? Why take the time to say them?
- It’s not patronizing to say these simple things, as you are actually asking people to behave differently than usual. You want them to engage with different norms of behavior than those used in conversations they may have at other business meetings or cocktail parties.
- It’s not time wasted because you will need to interrupt less later. While you will be helpful as the referee, often the Interruptions will derail the conversation, which then takes time to get going again. You will create a more positive atmosphere and avoid positioning yourself repeatedly as the disciplinarian.
- Your fair warning softens the blow to the ego of participants when you do have to intervene. While you can be diplomatic, you are confronting them. Why not just avoid this situation in advance? (Final tip: Say “Thank you” first if you are going to chide someone.)
With preparation, communication, and a little luck, your next discussion will be as spirited as it is collegial.
Do you have ways of preparing participants to interact during a discussion? Please share your ideas or suggestions in the response section at the bottom of this page or tweet to hashtag #moderatorgroundrules.
Other articles you might like:
- 5 UX Workshops and When to Use Them: A Cheat Sheet by Kate Williamson Kaplan for Nielsen Norman Group
- How to run a UX design workshop by Andreas Johansson
- Three Types of narratives to build amazing workshop experiences — or really any of Daniel Stillman’s writings
- Managing Discussions by Matt Leighninger— more ground rules, including “Bob’s Rules,” this is part of a series of 3 blogs entries on facilitation
- Create the Perfect UX Workshop Bag by @kyecass
